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  • Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    ★★★★

    I just saw The Rise of Skywalker for a fourth time with my parents: it was my favorite time I’ve ever watched a Star Wars movie in the theater.

    When it ended my mom and I were in tears, and I leaned over, hugged her and said, “Thank you for getting me into Star Wars” as the credits rolled.

    Nothing will ever change that moment for me. That moment alone might single-handedly be my favorite moment I’ve ever had in a movie theater.

  • The Country Bears

    The Country Bears

    ★½

    Almost Heaven, Magic Kingdom
    Big Thunder Mountain, Typhoon Lagoon
    Happy Faces, The Happiest Place on Earth
    Not Dead in the Mansion, I Know My Self Worth

    Country Bears, Take Me Home
    To The Walt Where I Belong
    Orlando, Florida
    Beary Bearington
    Take Me Home, Country Bears

    All My Memories, Of Country Bear Hall
    Modest Micky, No Stranger To Capitalism
    Max and Goofy, Living in Toon Town
    Misty Taste of Pandora, Teardrop in James Cameron's Eye
    Country Bears, Take Me Home…

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  • Lost Highway

    Lost Highway

    ★★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    “Had a dream last night...you were inside the house. You were calling my name. I couldn’t find you. Then there you were, right in bed. But it wasn’t you-it looked like you...but it wasn’t.”

    Not even 10 minutes in, David Lynch gives you the most intense and chaotic saxophone solo performance you’ll ever see in your entire life-and I don’t expect anything less from David Lynch. Now all jokes aside...

    “Captain...this is some spooky shit we’ve got here.”

    Woah. Lost…

  • Army of Darkness

    Army of Darkness

    ★★★★

    “This is my BOOMSTICK!”

    The Long Night has NOTHING on this.

    To put it bluntly and in the simplest terms: this film’s awesome. In fact, in a lot of ways it’s actually the epitome of the word and takes the best (and most absurd) parts of Evil Dead and Evil Dead II and thrusts then into a medieval, non-traditional setting for your typical film like this. Army of Darkness slaps so hard.

    It’s clear San Raimi had a lot of…

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  • 47 Meters Down: Uncaged

    47 Meters Down: Uncaged

    ★½

    Director: “Look, I’ll make your stupid shark movie, but I just want ONE THING.”

    Studio Executive: “And what might that be?”

    Director: “I want a fish to scream directly at the camera.”

    Studio Executive: “...You know fish don’t have lungs, right?”

    Director: “Take it or leave it. That’s my final offer.”

    ...

    *Executives look at each other*

    ...

    Studio Executive: “Just give him the damn fish scream, Kyle.”

  • The Skywalker Legacy

    The Skywalker Legacy

    ★★★★

    When people claim that JJ Abrams and Rian Johnson “ruined” Star Wars and “only care about pushing agendas rather than telling a good, cohesive story,” I can’t recommend these documentaries about the making of the Sequel Trilogy enough as a counterargument.

    Also the part where Adam Driver accidentally hits Daisy Ridley with his lightsaber and muffles “I’m sorry” under the Kylo Ren mask is one of the most unintentionally wholesome things I’ve ever watched.