Alice in Wonderland ½

Not very well paced and unfortunately located in the depths of the uncanny valley. Johnny Depp plays a less witty Jack Sparrow, Anne Hathaway apparently cannot put down her arms, and Mia Wasikowska is at once childish and teenage. 25 years later, Crispin Glover seems to be playing roughly the same character that he portrayed as George McFly in Back to the Future, but now he's supposed to be feared? Seriously?

This movie could have been sharp with humor and wit, but if the screenplay ever had those characteristics, they were completely squandered in production. I hesitate to blame the actors, given that all they probably had to work with was their imagination and a green screen, but no one came out of this looking good. (That is, except Wasikowska when she was wearing a suit of armor; that was kind of sexy.)