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  • Last Action Hero

    Last Action Hero


    Certainly the Longest Action Hero.

    My god, doesn’t this movie ever stop? At times, it feels like an ever bigger vanity project than Spielberg taking on Ready Player One.

  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles


    "We will drain every ounce of their blood - even if it kills them!". Eh. I don't think bad guy knows that that's exactly how blood works.

    You remember that episode of South Park that aired post-Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, where Steven Spielberg and George Lucas literally (see? That's how you use that word, Americans!) raped Indy? Yes, I could feel Liebesman and Bay raping my childhood, but after a while I sort of... laid…

Popular reviews

  • The Meg

    The Meg

    “We’re gonna need a better film.”

  • Klown Forever

    Klown Forever


    - There is no Alien: Resurrection.
    - Indiana Jonas 4 does not exist.
    - The only two Terminator movies are 1 and 2.
    - The Star Wars prequels are phantom pains.
    - Klovn Forever never happened.