13 Going on 30

13 Going on 30 ★★½

Since I'm on my own in a new city, my partner suggested that I take a break from the end-of-semester crunch and watch this to celebrate turning 30. Absurd! The movie falls apart under the slightest bit of scrutiny. Jennifer's Garner's interpretation of a thirteen-year-old consists of two modes, excited and dumb, and she goes way too hard on both counts. Her character's suggestion to rebrand her trashy magazine as some kind of wholesome yearbook, which is lauded by literally everyone in the film as a stroke of genius, only makes sense insofar as we never understand what the magazine actually contains. And Mark Ruffalo's love interest is the biggest shrug of a Gen-X band tee I've ever seen—I don't buy their connection, let alone the rapid whirlwind romance we get here. That being said, it's so ridiculous that it never dips into uninteresting or obnoxious, and so I hereby declare: 13 Going on 30 is Not Bad. Feeling thirty, flirty, and thriving!

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