Kong: Skull Island

Kong: Skull Island ★★★

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

Who Filmed This Shit??? reviews.................................

Kong: Skull Island 2017-Viet-Kong!!!
After the hugely disappointing Godzilla 2014,the odd move of handing the reins for this Kong re-boot to the same producers of that snorefest goes to show that Hollywood seriously has no clue what the fuck they are doing anymore...........if they ever did! WFTS??? stepped into the theatre today expecting a hot mess of boredom for 2 solid hours, much like that same 2014 experience that seems to be stuck with me for life!!! So thank the criticisms thrown at the makers of that 2014 mess,since they seem to have listened to,going by the amount of kick ass screen time Kong gets. Shame the human characters are just as throwaway as the ones from Godzilla 2014. So throwaway its no surprise Kong kills so many of them within minutes of them entering the island!!! Admittedly being humans, its only into seconds of arriving they start blown the shit out of the forests/wildlife/innocent blades of grass which probably pissed off the king the most,like they own the bloody place!!! WFTS??? found themselves cheering as Kong was smashing up helicopters left right and center......apologies to anyone in the cinema who herd/saw me going, yeah go get em Kong!!! way too loudly!!! This was also one of the highlights of the movie for me!!
After this great helicopters vs. Kong smash up-Kong 6 choppers 0-we get a remake of Peter Jackson's Kong movie-the middle half on the island-which for this viewer was not as good. Although I loved the giant spider scene-wonder how many of the audience got that fun Cannibal Holocaust homage-had a creature that would not have looked out of place in Frank Darabonts The Mist!!! How this scene got through in a PG-13 is anybodies guess!!!
Monster fights between Kong and various jungle creatures were all pretty badass. They easily/wisely leave the best till last involving a Kong finisher that once again gives a giant ape size middle finger to the censors!!! Also going by how this lizard ends up after Kongs done Godzilla better be researching that scene very closely for the next few years...................
Overall Kong is indeed king in this,shame that the human cast is left with nothing to work with. You know your doing it wrong when you just shrug your shoulders when John Goodmans character gets scoffed! Then there's the unintentionally hilarious death sequence late in the game-well it made me laugh my ass off anyway-sorry cinema audience again!!!
For WFTS??? the best Kong movies overall are still the classic 5 star original and the fun remakes!
Next time if your going to try for the kind of humor that worked so well in Deep Rising guys-a true A budget creature feature classic-go all the way and embrace the B movie style. Leave the other stuff in the war room guys...............................
Final thought WFTS??? style-its not just me who thoght our camera lady was having an orgasm during that Kong bonding sequence right??? Some things never change............lets just say Fay Wray was not screaming in fright in the original!!!

3 Kong chest thumps out 5

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