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  • The Witch: Part 1. The Subversion

    The Witch: Part 1. The Subversion

    ★★

    "She can't stay alive."

    The first thing I have to say about The Witch: Part 1 is that the only legal way to check it out here in the UK makes in near impossible to sit through. As far as I can tell it's only available on Amazon Prime, which is fine, except the subtitles are so ridiculously out of sync that it makes it tough to tell who was even saying what. I persisted through it, and while it…

  • Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance

    Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance

    ★★★

    "I know you're a good guy...but you know why I have to kill you."

    This first installment in Park Chan-wook's Vengeance Trilogy is a very solid effort with some pretty annoying plot conveniences and other issues that bring it down. The way in which the story is approached is unique and very interesting, dedicating most of its time to the characters who are to have revenge exacted upon them instead of the other way around, leaving you feeling some sympathy…

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  • The Lighthouse

    The Lighthouse

    "What?"

    I'm genuinely convinced that no one actually likes these films, they just pretend to so they can fit in with their other filmé connoisseur pals that also pretend to so they can all look like appreciators of the fine arts and true cinéphiles. Either that or I'm living in some kind of alternate reality Twilight Zone where people enjoy pretentious nonsense.

    The performances were fine but very clearly overacted and Pattinson's accent felt artificial and all over the place.…

  • A Quiet Place

    A Quiet Place

    "It. Never. Works."

    A Quiet Place is a deeply stupid film, one that quickly nosedives into a tedious and ridiculous mess of conveniences and lazy writing anchored by a bunch of boring characters and one incredibly annoying daughter. It features the ridiculous spoon-feeding of information (the whiteboard) and numerous plot holes that make sure the story is never believable. Obviously because it's a horror film there are myriad jump scares, too, because that's really all this film is, a same old same same generic horror made out of a decent and wasted premise.