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  • Superman Returns

    Superman Returns

    ★★½

    I love Parker Posey but this honestly isn't great. If you're in the mood for a movie directed by a child molester, try 'Chinatown' (1974) or 'Tiny Furniture' (2010)

  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

    Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

    ★★½

    I thought this show was about a school but it seems to just be about some kids in the woods. Apparently these are all set in the 90s which explains why their 'magic' is just worse versions of stuff our phones can already do e.g. they have moving pictures in newspapers or they can basically FaceTime through a fireplace. Also they dance to the song O Children from Abattoir Blues/The Lyre of Orpheus, which was only released to humans in 2004, confirming my suspicion that Nick Cave is a wizard.

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