• No Time to Die

    No Time to Die

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    How tf did a JAMES BOND movie have me crying real tears???? Literally a week ago I couldn’t care less about James Bond and then you do this to me?

    Basically, most of this is a damn good movie. Got a little lost in the sauce in the middle, but it pulls it all together with Bond running just an insane gauntlet in one of the most intense oners I’ve ever seen. Felt like I was playing Goldeneye in the…

  • Spectre

    Spectre

    ★★★½

    This was a blast! I thought this might confirm my disinterest in James Bond as a franchise and a character, but I was shocked to find it did the opposite. Daniel Craig is just so fun as Bond it’s hard to imagine anyone else pulling it off again. His “No! Stay.” to a clueless security guard was the highlight of the movie for me. As an aside I think the white suit from the train sequence is nearly the best Bond look ever, second only to Sean Connery’s terry cloth romper.

  • The Happening

    The Happening

    ★★★

    This isn’t so bad it’s good, it’s not even bad. Definitely far more clumsy than any of his previous efforts, but that’s clearly (at least partially) intentional. It’s just so much fun to watch, and it speaks to how joyless a lot of internet-age film criticism is that this became one of the biggest targets of Nostalgia Critic, CinemaSins, and their ilk.

  • Spider-Man 3

    Spider-Man 3

    ★★★½

    It has a far worse reputation than it deserves, but also is definitely the most clumsy of the trilogy. I’ll go on record as a Spider-Man 3 defender, LOVE the ideas at play, just don’t love the bland finale where it feels like the movie just gives up. All the momentum gets sucked out. (Also Avi Arad please please retire)

  • Lady in the Water

    Lady in the Water

    ★★★★½

    We all owe M. Night Shyamalan an apology.

    More thoughts to come a few days from now in podcast form right here.

  • Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

    Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

    ★★★½

    I liked this one! Wish we didn’t have to do the obligatory giant monster fight at the end, but I did enjoy that (for the most part) it felt more like a story that happens inside the MCU than an MCU story. First time I’ve genuinely had fun watching the fight scenes in a Marvel movie. It is a little sad that it had to be a “gimmick” (for lack of a better word) for them to actually start caring about making the choreography interesting to watch.

  • Spider-Man 2

    Spider-Man 2

    ★★★★★

    “Would you like a piece of chocolate cake?”
    I find something new to love every time I watch this. This time it was that scene. When it feels like everybody’s at your throat and nobody really cares about you, sometimes all you really need is some cake and a friendly face. Your problems are still there, but somehow they feel a little more manageable when you’ve had something sweet and you know at least one person is thinking of you.…

  • Spider-Man

    Spider-Man

    ★★★★★

    What is there to say that hasn’t been said?

    Tobey Maguire and his beautiful baby blues?
    Check
    Willem Dafoe having the time of his life?
    Check
    NICKELBACK?
    Buddy you better believe that’s a CHECK

    Also “work was murder” is the greatest line in any superhero movie ever, and Peter Parker should start saying things like “gee” and “tally-ho” again

  • Signs

    Signs

    ★★★★½

    This has gotta be Shyamalan’s best. He swings away, and hits a home run almost every time. Literally the only gripe I have with this movie is the unnecessary ending shot that tells us something we already know. There is no movie quite like Signs.

  • Unbreakable

    Unbreakable

    ★★★½

    Feels like Shyamalan knew he didn’t have quite the magic he had with the performances in The Sixth Sense, so he compensated with some super creative and beautiful camera work, to great effect.


    More thoughts in podcast form here.

  • The Sixth Sense

    The Sixth Sense

    ★★★★

    Shyamalan at his most unpretentious, but it also simultaneously feels like his most unrestrained. It’s a modern classic, and I will continue to sing its praises any chance I get.

    (More thoughts on my new podcast covering every single Shyamalan film, Shameless Shyamalan)

  • Free Guy

    Free Guy

    ★★

    If only Disney were self-aware enough to see that they’re the soulless corporation taking the work of independent artists and exploiting them for profit. Or maybe they do know and they’re just too rich to care.

    On a lighter note, Joe Keery is a very beautiful man, Taika is Taika, and also it was cool to see a movie acknowledge how toxic massive video game publishers can be. Especially timely in the wake of all the Activision-Blizzard stuff happening right now.

    (Oh also never EVER make me watch streamers and YouTubers play themselves in a feature film ever again)