Avengers: Infinity War ½

Hey, remember in the '90s when DC announced, "We're killing Superman! No, seriously, we're really killing him! We're not bullshitting you, we're really killing him off and he's never coming back!!!!!!1!!!" And then a year later everything was back to the same exact status quo as before, only with DC now a billion dollars richer from all the fake hype?


Fuck you, comics industry.

(UPDATE, added the next day):

I've just found myself here without the energy to describe in detail all the various reasons I hated this movie, 99 percent of which are simply reasons I hate all superhero movies in general. (To be clear, the only reason I watched this in the first place is because the 14-year-old son of a single-mother friend of mine here in Chicago wanted to see it, and didn't have anyone to go with.) I wish I had noted who it was, but one of my friends here at Letterboxd mentioned in his review of Infinity War, "Everyone who will love it will love it for all the reasons they knew beforehand that they would, and everyone who will hate it will hate it for all the reasons they knew beforehand that they would, so there's not much point in even debating it," which I found myself agreeing with a lot, which is why I haven't said anything in my review about the crappy characters, the lame jokes, and the tired reliance on ADD spectacle to make up for mediocre storytelling. All those things are true of every superhero movie that's ever been made, so there's not much point in complaining about them here, when we all knew going into Infinity War that the movie would be guilty of all these things.

I just thought it was worth mentioning here how infuriated I was by all the false drama and angst the film tries pulling off by "killing off" half its characters in the last five minutes, which I thought was something that had really, permanently happened when I first left the theater, which left me flummoxed at why Marvel would voluntarily give up the billions of dollars in revenue that would come by instead churning out more sequels with the characters they had just unceremoniously slaughtered. It was while reading online about that subject later that evening that I realized that it's all just a big switcheroo, and that they're actually releasing yet another Avengers movie twelve months later that's going to essentially undo everything that happened in this one (apparently through the time-traveling shenanigans of Captain Marvel); and that left me absolutely incensed that the filmmakers would manipulate our emotions like that, and present the end of Infinity War like this big massive tearjerking tragedy, just to come back a year later and say, "Ha ha, just kidding, folks!" That's the very definition of lazy, terrible writing; and as someone who makes his living in the world of literature, it's the reliance on shitty writing here that has gotten me so overwhelmed with anger, not any particular aspect of the production itself. Now that I've had a day to calm down a bit, I wanted to post these further thoughts in the hopes that they help clarify my opinion.