Coffee Town ½

Watched as part of the June 2017 Letterboxd Scavenger Hunt
My list | Evan Whitford's master list
#5: A Film Released By Shout Or Scream Factory

2017 movie viewings, #84. I've been curious about Coffee Town since it first came out in 2013, so was glad to have this scavenger hunt task to use as an excuse to finally watch it. It stars Glenn Howerton, and I'm an obsessive fan of his pitch-black TV show It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, so I was interested to see what kinds of projects he would take on when making the leap to the big screen, my curiosity especially aroused when I found out the movie was written and directed by Arrested Development staffer Brad Copeland, and that it also featured veterans of such admired shows as The Grinder, The League, Comedy Bang! Bang!, Eastbound & Down, 30 Rock, Reno 911!, Parks and Rec, Robot Chicken, Bob's Burgers, The Sarah Silverman Show, New Girl, Shameless, Weeds, Veep, Childrens Hospital, BoJack Horseman, Kroll Show, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Community, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Workaholics, Drunk History, and Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job. HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY GO WRONG WITH A PEDIGREE LIKE THIS?

So too bad for me, then, that I didn't realize until too late that this was the inaugural feature film of the endless black pit of frat-bro despair known as; and as a result, the finished film is so aggressively and hostilely terrible that it literally broke something inside of me, a little part of my soul that up to today had been willing to give all indie films a bit of a benefit of a doubt no matter what they were or what their pre-screening reputation was. This movie changed all that, an open spit in audiences' faces that dares to assemble such an amazing team of comedians and then force them through one of the most dismal screenplays ever written, one that in the 2010s is still trying to coast on gay panic jokes, casual racism, and the classification of the entire female gender into either brittle shrews or Baywatch bikini babes. A film that feels like the producers deliberately went through it page by page, removing all legitimate jokes because they were worried they would go over the heads of their 4chan alt-right audience, I would normally say that everyone involved with this travesty should be ashamed of themselves; but this is the staff of we're talking about, who have already proven that they have a sociopath's lack of shame to begin with. Let me serve as the lesson learned the hard way that you don't have to, and avoid this abortion of a movie at all costs.