Deadpool ★½

My disdain for superhero movies is a matter of public record at this point, and I'm getting pretty close to declaring that I will never watch another one again, no matter how tempting any particular one might look; but while watching a triple-feature at Chicago's Brew and View last weekend (a 500-seat grand theater here in the city where you can watch three movies for five bucks, and drink liquor the entire time), I happened to catch the trailer for Deadpool 2, which was the very first time I had ever seen any footage from either Deadpool movie, and the trailer made me giggle, which was just enough to convince me to torrent a copy of the original film and watch it here at home tonight. Unfortunately it ended up being exactly what I was expecting it to be, which was a 12-year-old boy's idea of a witty, deconstructivist script; and while this is to be entirely expected -- after all, it's based on a comic book designed expressly for 12-year-old boys -- unfortunately for me, I'm actually a 49-year-old grown-up, which made Deadpool the exact kind of mirthless, excruciating torture that had made me avoid it like the plague all the way up to now to begin with. A movie that's getting an extra star today simply out of admiration for at least trying something different, that still only gives it a total score of one and a half stars; and barring any sequels to Black Panther that might be coming out in the future, I'm think I'm just about ready to declare a permanent and total moratorium on all superhero movies that will henceforth ever be made, no matter how different or unique they might seem at first.