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jay has written 329 reviews for films during 2018.

  • Gone Girl

    Gone Girl

    ★★★★

    me to amy dunne: this isnt you! youre not a murderer!

    amy dunne: ive killed people

    me: i know, but im saying deep down

  • Black Mirror: Bandersnatch

    Black Mirror: Bandersnatch

    charlie brooker really gave himself the ultimate safety net because if a critic says “actually i didnt feel we had much control-“ he can play a reverse uno card and be like j̸̖̾u̷͚͐s̷͚̆t̸͖͂ ̶̧͛l̴͇͌i̶̟̕k̵̽͜e̷̛͕ ̴̬̔s̵̹̈o̵̜͝c̴̦͝i̷͕̕e̵͙͑t̷̻̅ý̷͓

  • Bird Box

    Bird Box

    ★★★

    blind people thriving in this apocalypse environment be like: How The Turntables

  • Raiders of the Lost Ark

    Raiders of the Lost Ark

    ★★★★½

    indiana jones is the headline of the man who was stabbed in the chest and didnt call the hospital because he didnt want to bother anyone

  • Us

    Us

    me: 🎶i dont want a lot for christmas~🎶

    jordan peele: ok ill just take back that trailer i just dropped ungrateful BITCH

  • The Grand Budapest Hotel

    The Grand Budapest Hotel

    ★★★★½

    me finding something with possible sentimental value: I’ll never part with it. It reminded her of me. It will remind me of her. Always. I’ll die with this above my bed.

    me 2 minutes later when my emotions have calmed down: Actually, we should sell it. Sooner rather than later.

  • How the Grinch Stole Christmas

    How the Grinch Stole Christmas

    ★★★½

    2013 emo me at every single chance: hey mum did you know the girl who played cindy lou in the grinch is now in a rock band called the pretty reckless isnt that such an edgy fact

  • The Favourite

    The Favourite

    this is the 2nd year running a director that has produced 2 consecutive pictures with colin farrell, separates from farrell for a farrelless production that receives the most award show traction the director has ever gained so what im getting to is can someone please check if colin farrell is eating well

  • John Mulaney: New in Town

    John Mulaney: New in Town

    2012 john mulaney: oceans 11 wouldnt work with women!

    2018: [THE GANG MAKES OCEANS 11 WITH WOMEN]

  • The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl

    The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl

    ★½

    I did nAUGHTt! Mister Electic send him to the principal's office and have him EXpelLed!

  • The Killing of a Sacred Deer

    The Killing of a Sacred Deer

    ★★★★

    his palms are sweaty
    knees weak arms are heavy
    theres vomit on his sweater already
    barry keoghan eating spaghetti

  • Hereditary

    Hereditary

    ★★★★½

    my family: *faces a minor inconvenience*

    my paranoid ass, bursting into my grandparents house: WHO FUCKED WITH A SATANIC CULT? IT WAS FUCKING ONE OF YAS