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  • The Great Wall

    The Great Wall

    ½

    Zhang Yimou's GARBAGE HEAP movie The Great Wall looks like a Sony Bravia commercial from 2005.

  • King Kong

    King Kong

    ★★★½

    Extended cut is three hours and twenty minutes. A running time best described as RUDE.

    There's a VERY GOOD hour and a half movie in there somewhere..

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  • Les Misérables

    Les Misérables

    I wouldn't say I 'watched' Les Misérables. I kind of just sat in front of it and waited. And waited. And waited.

  • Creed

    Creed

    ★★★★★

    Don't let the lack of a 6/5 fool you...I FUCKING LOVED Creed.

    "That bell doesn't mean you're dismissed. That bell means hell."

    I went into it expecting to be moved, but it's been some time since a film has wetted my cheek so thoroughly.

    "What's wrong with your eyes?" -- Terminator 2 quote about crying

    (A stupid question coming from a machine with "detailed files on human anatomy.")

    This awards season, I hope Oscar voters will be stroking Stallone's shaft…