• Blonde

    Blonde

    Hahaha look at the ratings distribution for this piece of shit 

    Why did the digitally rendered fetus get so much screentime?!?!

    Lists:
    2022 Ranked

  • The Bad Guys

    The Bad Guys

    ★★★★

    It’s very clear to me that The Bad Guys is one of the first (along with Mitchells vs the Machines and many more sure to come) to directly draw inspiration from 2018’s world-changing Into the Spider-verse. After acquiring the rights to The Bad Guys series of graphic novels earlier in that year, it’s a fitting project to apply the comic book style to. While the style may become tired over the coming decades of Western animation that it will surely…

  • Bone Tomahawk

    Bone Tomahawk

    ★★★

    Western Wednesday #34

    As my last Western for a month, I thought I would watch a rare Western-Horror as a precursor to October. While it only felt like a horror for the last 30 minutes, it delivered on one horror aspect: the gore. That death was the most gruesome thing I’ve ever seen. 

    Five for the technicals. One for the story, etc. Average it out.

  • Laggies

    Laggies

    ★★★½

    This has to be in the running for the worst movie title ever

  • The Tourist

    The Tourist

    ★★★

    I like to think this whole movie was improvised and every scene was just Johnny Depp being nervous and in awe of meeting Angelina Jolie for the first time (who wouldn’t be), and then once he got used to it they filmed the final scene and ended the movie.

  • 3:10 to Yuma

    3:10 to Yuma

    ★★★½

    Western Wednesday #33

    The Batman voice came out around 55 minutes and I started cackling like the Joker.

    This is the first traditional Western I’ve watched in about a month for this challenge. One of the first good cowboy/bad cowboy non-revisionists in decades. I thought it was above average technically all around, with three standout performances, but otherwise a bit boring. Nothing much else to report.

  • In Bruges

    In Bruges

    ★★★★½

    God tier foreshadowing. This movie was so satisfying the way it felt like a puzzle where the pieces just kept clicking into place. Can’t wait for Banshees

  • The Nanny Diaries

    The Nanny Diaries

    ★★

    Which ScarJo character would you want to be your babysitter though? I feel like Rebecca (Ghost World) would be a fricking hilarious babysitter

  • Girl, Interrupted

    Girl, Interrupted

    ★★★★

    I got bitches off the xans

    Bruh
    If Angelina Jolie EVER manspread while smoking in my presence I would immediately pass away, it actually wasn’t cool for James Mangold to casually slip that (the hottest thing I’ve ever seen) into a scene where I’m supposed to be feeling terrible for Daisy
    T
    C
    H
    E
    S

  • Minions: The Rise of Gru

    Minions: The Rise of Gru

    ★★½

    Is Rise of Gru a Minions movie or a Despicable Me prequel? I don’t think it ever figured that out. It doesn’t really have the heart or quotability of a Despicable Me movie, but it also doesn’t have the silliness and slapstick-focus of a Minions movie. All around it just feels like a half-rate effort with forgettable villains and cheap laughs. I suppose that’s what Illumination is good at, but I can usually get into a Despicable Me movie so I found it a bit disappointing. At least we have the memes

    Lists:
    2022 Ranked
    Illumination Ranked

  • Dances with Wolves

    Dances with Wolves

    ★★★★½

    Western Wednesday #32

    Kevin Costner even fucks in monotone. And by that I mean, in the nicest way possible, he should take his talents behind the camera more often.

  • Two for the Money

    Two for the Money

    ★★★½

    Alright, gambling