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  • The House That Jack Built

    The House That Jack Built

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    "you're mr. sophistication, aren't you?"

    there is no greater sorrow then to recall our times of joy in wretchedness. yet as mr. sophistication is ushered through the woods where the straight way is lost, his wretched, joyous tales flow from the tongue; a gallery is populated with artwork; a house is constructed of material. the house that jack built is a demented vision of a butcher's fractured intellect, an intellect that is pleased when it surveys death not because it…

  • The House That Jack Built

    The House That Jack Built

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    went in scared. left utterly terrified. i can't even decide on a rating right now, so here are some thoughts i had during this film:

    -i swore to myself i would never watch a von trier film, and yet here we are.
    -matt dillon is the man. also when he had that hood on he looked exactly like one of those engineers from prometheus lol.
    -eating while watching this was one of the worst decisions i've made all year, and…

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  • La La Land

    La La Land

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    "i guess i'll see you in the movies."

    they waltz beneath the indigo empyrean, in the twinkling city and underneath those smiling stars. la la land is a gorgeous, effervescent elegy concerning fame, artistry, creativity, and most importantly the dreams in which these concepts bloom like expressive flowers. throughout its runtime, i couldn't help feeling anything other than sheer joyβ€”a desire to construct something, a twinge of disappointment in knowing it would never reach the heights at which this film…

  • Die Hard

    Die Hard

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    "welcome to the party, pal."

    tension that's razor sharp like glass, sustained by bouts of manic gunfire and extemporizations macgyver couldn't dream up. utter carnage; bullets hurling through the christmas trees. dynamical setpieces brilliantly paving a way to even more dynamical setpieces as shrapnel is dodged, negotiations are made, tanks are detonated, machine guns are acquired, and the campanile hijackers are massacred. therein lies die hard's thesis: there is simply no other way to spend christmas than gunning down terrorists, giving physics and safety the big πŸ–•, dodging helicopters, and slashing your feet open with shards of glass. happy holidays, motherfβ€”ker.