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  • The Matrix Revolutions

    The Matrix Revolutions


    wanted to love this so bad but it's no reloaded bois. :( has the exact same narrative and aesthetic beats as the first but by now the magic has worn off and given way to stale pastiche. whereas matrix i and ii exist as a magnificent intersection of philosophies and ideologies painted into the increasingly compelling mythos of the world of the franchise, revolutions fails miserably at expanding the work of its prequels—hell, it *narrows* it into a cheap hollywood…

  • Lucy in the Sky

    Lucy in the Sky


    neck to neck with waves in 2019's unofficial competition to see who can cram the most aspect ratios into their movie. a lot like an ari aster movie in the sense that hawley just chose a phrase (space ptsd?) and said "ok, my movie is About something, nothing left to do here" like bro...we need an actual plot too lol. there's absolutely no cinematic rhythm, no sense of direction, nothing of significance to extract, just a lot of screaming and…

Popular reviews

  • Black Mirror: Striking Vipers

    Black Mirror: Striking Vipers


    super smash bros lol

  • The Kissing Booth

    The Kissing Booth


    The Kissing Booth...where do I begin?

    This movie transcends all others that dared to come before it; it skillfully snipes down movies like Francis Ford Coppola's The Godfather or Tarantino's Pulp Fiction, turning them into meaningless stains of foolishness on the tapestry of cinema. The Kissing Booth is the The Room of good movies, yet it still manages to outshine amateur efforts like The Shawshank Redemption or Citizen Kane. It doesn't take a Forrest Gump or Will Hunting to comprehend…