J. Effingham Bellweather
J. Effingham Bellweather

J. Effingham Bellweather

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  • Aberration

    Aberration

    ★★★

    Kiwi Mutant Killer Lizards
    Kiwi Mutant Killer Lizards
    Kiwi Mutant Killer Lizards
    Cheesy rubber monsters
    Lizard Power!

    They're the world's most fearsome little guys
    (Kiwi Mutant Killer Lizards)
    When they get cold they dig in people's thighs
    (Kiwi Mutant Killer Lizards)
    When that asshole Yuri attacks
    These lizard boys make him into a snack

    Kiwi Mutant Killer Lizards
    Kiwi Mutant Killer Lizards
    Kiwi Mutant Killer Lizards
    The heroes are both half-wits
    Lizard power!

    Science taught them to evolve new genes…

  • Stone Cold

    Stone Cold

    ★★★★½

    Legendary masterpiece featuring probably the most incompetent police work in movie history, more explosions and squibs than there are in Heaven, perhaps Lance Henriksen's finest hour, and a nostalgic reminder of the days when sleazy neo-Nazi terrorists were plotting to blow up state houses instead of getting elected into them. Watch it.

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  • Green Book

    Green Book

    An addendum to Farrelly We Bro Along 2018: The Farrelly Brothers Ranked

    The latest Farrelly-helmed "bromance conquers all" epic is the least convincing and in competition for the least funny (no small feat with HALL PASS and SHALLOW HAL in the mix).

    It's remarkable how much this feels like a Farrelly Bros joint, even with the absence of Bobby: the schmaltz, the tastelessness, the gross, manchildish, unappealing main character with a secret heart of gold, the overlength -- not too…

  • Revenge

    Revenge

    ★★★★

    I spit on your 2018