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  • Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

    Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

    ★★★

    Super uneven, but I dare you to find another movie this year that directly compares the election of Richard Nixon to the creeping specter of death.

  • The Lion King

    The Lion King

    ★½

    You have....no....good....Scar....ideas

  • The Matrix Reloaded

    The Matrix Reloaded

    ★★★★

    Oh shit this movie actually fuckin rocks.

  • Aladdin

    Aladdin

    ★★

    (David Bowie voice)
    Who will love Aladdin lame?

  • Tammy and the T-Rex

    Tammy and the T-Rex

    Just like Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn before him, Paul Walker watches his own funeral through the eyes of an animatronic dinosaur.

  • Swing You Sinners!

    Swing You Sinners!

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    "Wow, I wonder how Bimbo's gonna get out of thi-OH. OH. Okay. Okay. This is fine."

  • Missing Link

    Missing Link

    ★★★

    “Minor” Laika, which means it’s still head and shoulders above the Illuminations and lazy live action remakes of the family film world. The jokes are pretty hit and miss, and the character relationships don’t feel as earned as they should be, but it’s still a gorgeously animated delight overall.

  • Pet Sematary

    Pet Sematary

    ★★★

    Very well cast/acted (Seimetz and Lithgow especially) and some of the new changes are interesting. But by the final shot it didn’t really feel like this story was *about* anything anymore.

  • Dumbo

    Dumbo

    ★½

    Ehren Kruger is an enemy of cinema.

  • Happy Death Day 2U

    Happy Death Day 2U

    ★★½

    This movie just casually forgets about its own first act. 

    Fun otherwise!

  • Serenity

    Serenity

    Sure, the filmmaking is incompetent, and the twist is bananas, and the sound mixing often makes important dialogue inaudible, and the sex scenes are awkward as hell, and this thing somehow had 3 production coordinators, and Hathaway has never been worse, and this has a very vague and misguided idea of what it’s supposed to be representing post-twist, but you know what? I had an absolute blast.

  • The Night Comes for Us

    The Night Comes for Us

    ★★★½

    Julie Estelle can murder me any day.