• The Undertaker

    The Undertaker


    Restored cut. It's a better movie, for sure. More consistent. But it is still kinda dull and I'm not as impressed with Joe Spinell as other reviewers. A rarity that doesn't amount to much.

  • Cats


    Walked out after Ian McKellan's first song. Roughly forty-minutes in, which came after thirty minutes of trailers, for the likes of Walmart, Target, and Disney Plus. By the time I realized that Judy Dench and McKellan wouldn't save the movie, the drugs had worn off and my camp- and trash-adoring gaze found nothing redeemable about this new CATS, apart from some production merits. It's a failure, plain and simple.

    I woke up my sleeping sister, resting on the extended recliner,…

  • Tammy and the T-Rex

    Tammy and the T-Rex


    Unfortunately, I couldn't have my mother over for Christmas, because she fell ill a few days before the holiday. But I did have a blot of acid, marijuana edibles, leftover Coors, my marijuana, and the living room to myself, so I got fucked up and watched five movies, including this one. It was my first time watching a movie on LSD.

    I took it before the second movie, which was LET MY PUPPETS COME! I wanted it to be in…

  • Stripped to Kill

    Stripped to Kill


    This has a wonderful plot hole that requires a character in the beginning to be a clone! Somebody had to have noticed that during the filmmaking.

    It has a distinctive trope the plagues so many B-grade sexual thrillers, which might not be surprising given the inspiration of the exploitative title. If you're familiar with the genre, you could predict it—if it weren't for the impossible setup.

    However, the dancing is quite good, the plot spreads hints tastefully, cinematography is nice,…

  • Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2

    Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2


    A sequel that recycles the previous film for most of the first forty minutes can't get a good score.

    But Eric Freeman's performance as Ricky Chapman is what makes this mostly bad horror comedy worthwhile. He's ridiculous.

  • We Are Still Here

    We Are Still Here


    A haunted house film, through and through. If you're hard for that genre, give it a go. It is newer and it does its own thing with familiar tropes.

    It has a bit more splatter. The ghosts look very cool. The cast is primarily middle age and older, which is rare these days.

    WE ARE STILL HERE does pay home to Lucio Fulci's THE BEYOND throughout the movie. If you like WE ARE STILL HERE and haven't seen THE BEYOND…

  • Bone Tomahawk

    Bone Tomahawk


    I was surprised to see that of all the movies I've posted about watching on Facebook, BONE TOMAHAWK has been the most popular (comments, "likes", etc.). A movie everybody had seen and I hadn't, apparently.

    So...I liked it.

    I really want to call it a Western, almost strictly, because the form and story are from that genre. The long road trip. That chunk of the film is imperfect, but not bad. It works as a proper setup for what follows,…

  • The Nest

    The Nest


    High quality filler.

  • The Undertaker

    The Undertaker

    83 minute cut, which isn't very good. I've read that the newest cut, distributed on blu-ray by Vinegar Syndrome, is much better.

  • Christmas Evil

    Christmas Evil


    Some people have daddy issues. Harry Stadling has Santa issues.

    One Christmas Eve traumatized him. He couldn’t handle the truth.

    As an adult, he has a strong spirit of Christmas, but in the manner that Santa would. He admires a well-designed toy. He keeps two books: One for good children, the other for the bad. Spying on neighborhood children is a major pastime. Doubtless he’s on edge—what if he goes over it on Christmas Eve again, but murderously?

    It’s a…

  • Bondage Ecstasy

    Bondage Ecstasy


    Do you like your Japanese gay pornos to have references to Franz Kafka, insect pov shots, dream sequences, absurd facial expressions, ropes and hot wax, music that'd work in a B&W silent film, and frequent humor that spans from lighthearted and charming to sexual innuendoes and puns to tastelessness? Duh!

    Though it's probably too rough for the normies, it is likely to be hilarious to everybody else. Unlike some reviewers, I don't think it is quite as rough and tough…

  • Vampire's Kiss

    Vampire's Kiss


    The American psycho is Nic Cage, in a black comedy of the late 1980s.

    They don't teach performances like Nick's. Hating the movie because of it is a seriousness I can't envy.