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  • The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh

    The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh

    ★★★

    March Madness 2017 Game 8

    This is a crazy movie, a crazy movie that doesn't need to be 100 minutes. I rented this on google play and it's clearly vhs quality just how I like it.

    Dr. J stars in a movie about a rag tag basketball team made up of all pisces, because.... astrology and that somehow makes them play better?????? Full of elaborate dance numbers, shiny pants, fish, and an original soundtrack with all songs about (you guessed it) Pisces.

  • Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

    Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

    ★★

    I shit you not, a mere minute and twenty seconds in to the film there is a computer generated baby dick. Can you imagine your first job out of visual effects school you think "cool i'm on Underworld that will have a lot of interesting effects" then they drop the bomb on you that you will be "baby dick animator".

    Maybe I'm old fashion but I prefer my Vampire and Werewolves in a medieval setting rather than his Matrix future…

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  • Arrival

    Arrival

    ★★★★★

    The ghosts of Stanley Kubrick and Michael Crichton have inhabited Denis Villeneuve's body.

  • Sausage Party

    Sausage Party

    I'd rather fuck a McChicken than watch a second of this ever again.