Gabriel Jewett

Gabriel Jewett Pro

"Damn! I shouldn't have bought that second milk!" -Lenny, Demolition High

Favorite films

  • Phantom of the Paradise
  • Scream
  • Popcorn
  • Alice, Sweet Alice

Recent activity

  • It's a Wonderful Knife


  • Nature of the Beast


  • Home Alone: The Holiday Heist


  • Home Alone 4


Pinned reviews

  • Better Watch Out

    Better Watch Out


    I must have uttered the phrase "what the fuck" out loud like 50 times while watching this.

  • The Babysitter

    The Babysitter


    I never thought i would give a Mcg film 4 stars but here we are....
    The Babysitter is a blast that I couldn't help but be swept up in, I'm sure this movie has a lot of flaws but I was too busy loving it to care.
    I really hope they make a sequel, The Babysitter is fantastic, check it out.

    Side note but Samara Weaving is quite possibly the most likable psychotic killer satanist ever.

    Oh and my Intergalactic…

Recent reviews

  • It's a Wonderful Knife

    It's a Wonderful Knife


    Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Holy Fuck it’s Christmas! Review #24:

    This gets real weird in like the last 10 minutes but in a good way, it doesn’t quite explain everything but I like it a lot actually. I’d say I’d put it right next to Totally Killer as one of the lesser but still pretty damn good slasher releases for the year. This has been a good year for slashers and especially holiday slashers, Justin Long is great in this as usual.

  • Home Alone: The Holiday Heist

    Home Alone: The Holiday Heist


    Ho Ho Ho Ho Hot Damn It’s Christmas! Review #23:

    This isn’t as bad as 4 but it’s such a nothing movie, I can at least appreciate the added addition of the haunted house angle. This series really represents how John Hughes career and writing trajectory faltered during the 90s, of course he wasn’t involved in 4 or 5 but he pretty much started this style of kid and family film. For good and bad, I seriously can’t believe Malcolm McDowell is in this though.

Popular reviews

  • Mulholland Drive

    Mulholland Drive


    Me during the film: Haha yeah impress me Mr Lynch with your so called "masterpiece"

    Me after the film sobbing uncontrollably on the phone:
    Please Davey I'm sorry I'm so sorry please forgive me just love me please

    David Lynch: new phone who dis?

  • Uptown Girls

    Uptown Girls


    Brittany Murphy truly had a talent, she could make any slightly cliche film into something special with her wit, beauty, and charm.
    This would probably be mediocre without her but with her it's actually a pretty good little hidden gem from the 2000's.
    I recommend it, it's a tad girly but there's nothing wrong with that, eh?

    Also it's hilarious that Molly's dad name was Tommy Gunn, considering what the real Tommy Gunn does for a living.