RSS feed for Gabriel
  • Cast a Deadly Spell

    Cast a Deadly Spell


    The Wolf Among Us meets Roger Rabbit, truly fantastic. One of my favorite things about watching movies is discovering something truly special like Cast a Deadly Spell. That human muppet Max Landis should have watched this before he wrote that sludge Bright.
    To quote Joe Bob: "check it out!"

    Scream Factory needs to get their hands on this ASAP

    This would have been great as a Sierra or Lucas Arts point-and-click game as well.

  • The Bunker

    The Bunker


    The Baby meets Clifford, and anyone who knows me knows that I'm obsessed with both those films. So needless to say I love Der Bunker it's awesome.

  • Dead Shack

    Dead Shack


    Mary Sampsonite killing people using her zombie family, is exactly the kind of movie I needed in my life.

  • Cabin Fever

    Cabin Fever


    The original Cabin Fever has:
    - charming weirdness that persists throughout
    - Likeable cast that you actually care about
    - freaky and effective scenes that still make me uneasy
    - funny scenes that make the more horrific stuff easier to swallow
    - just an all around good debut from take him or leave him Eli Roth

    2016 Cabin Fever has:
    -gender-swapped Deputy Winslow?

  • Raising Cain

    Raising Cain


    This is such a bizarre film, and I mean that in the best possible way.

    Also Post Malone would love this.

  • The Dancing Princesses

    The Dancing Princesses


    Now that I a 18 year old gentleman has seen every episode of Shelley Duvalls Faerie Tale Theater. I have to say this show is a who's who of amazing character actors, fantastical set pieces, and just a feeling of child-like whimsy that feels me with joy. Reminds me that sometimes dreams do true or that you're Cinderella/Prince Charming is just around the corner all you gotta do is look. So anyways enough gushing about this show I would have…

  • Sharknado 5: Global Swarming

    Sharknado 5: Global Swarming


    Dearest Sharknado,

    Does thou enjoy thy presence? Apparently so because you just wont go away! We had some good times you and I, right? The first couple times were fun really fun, but then you kept CALLING! Night after night sometimes 5 times in a row. And I just couldn't say no, you're like a drug I can't quit I don't particularly like you but at the same time I cant imagine life without you. The shitty cameos, the constant…

  • S.F.W.



    Any movie that features GWAR is an automatic 5 stars from me man.

  • Puppet Master: Axis Termination

    Puppet Master: Axis Termination


    Now that I have seen all of the current Puppet Master films, I will describe my opinions on each of them using only The Office quotes. I'll let you guess what my ranking of each would be.

    1.Puppet Master: "I want people to be afraid of how much they love me."
    2. Puppet Master II Toulons Revenge:"I am Beyoncé, always."
    3.Puppet Master III: "Its Britney Bitch"
    4.Puppet Master IV: "The worst thing about prison was the Dementors."
    5. Puppet Master…

  • Killjoy's Psycho Circus

    Killjoy's Psycho Circus


    I feel like Killjoy is the only Full Moon series that actually improved over time instead of getting worse like the others, I'm not saying they're great or anything nut they are definitely entertaining. Mainly due to the wonderful addition of Trent Haaga. Which honestly saved a mediocre killer clown franchise from becoming another Camp Blood, I do think Killjoy Goes to Hell is the biggest standout in the franchise but that's like being the best Elvis Impersonator, does it really matter?

    I'm still losing faith in Full Moon but i will be a devoted fan until the end, same with Troma.

  • A Ghost Story

    A Ghost Story


    Just because you can have a 5 minute scene of someone eating pie, doesn't mean you should. Good movie though.

  • Chickboxer


    Quite possibly the best scene of someone tying their shoes in motion picture history.