Wishmaster ★★★★

4 stars, but I think at least one of those stars is ironic.

We had to pause the movie after the opening credits to confirm that its "1997" screening date wasn't a typo for 1987, and things only got better from there. Not even the slightest bit scary, or good, but the kills are so ludicrous and then Tony Todd shows up and oh hey you're having a great time.