• Uncle Sam

    Uncle Sam

    ★★★

    Lots of fun but also full of biting anti-American/anti-war satire, this July 4th set slasher  has some great set pieces in amongst its social commentary: not least a devastating fireworks display and a sack race where someone loses their head.

  • Armour of God

    Armour of God

    ★★★★

    Jackie Chan’s take on Indiana Jones has enough imagination and frenetic excitement in its joyous stunt-laden action scenes to excuse the occasional lulls in between - the interplay between Jackie and his costars sometimes humorous, at others ponderous.

  • Pumpkinhead

    Pumpkinhead

    ★★★★

    Loved the visuals in this - particularly the spindly and grotesque Pumpkinhead standing in the church doorway, illuminated by blues and reds, surrounded by rolling ominous fog.

  • Black Friday

    Black Friday

    ★★★

    The Blob meets Dawn of the Dead meets Godzilla. Not quite as good as that sounds though.

  • Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    ★★★

    I love some of the fades and transitions here.  Raimi channelling mid 90s horror/comic book movie aesthetics: Spawn; The Shadow; The Phantom; his own Darkman and (the later) Drag Me To Hell. The storyline is mostly cack, and I can’t warm to Cumberbatch as Strange but there’s some great touches for a crowd that loves a throwback and some Evil Dead self referencing.

  • Head of the Family

    Head of the Family

    ★★★

    Charles Band once again slips some sleaze and silliness into his horror. This time some twat who’s basically just some big old fucking head has a really long tongue and licks some nipples whilst talking in some old man southern accent.

  • Good Boys

    Good Boys

    ★★★½

    Foul-mouthed and sweet. Hits the same highs as Superbad whilst skewing slightly younger. I teach this age group and that lent it a stronger emotional resonance for me. Laughs are pretty consistent and the heart is too.

  • Robotrix

    Robotrix

    ★★★

    Silly CATIII movie that veers wildly between rapey-Terminator/Robocop and Revenge of the Nerds type sex comedy, sometimes uncomfortably hitting both at the same time. When it’s not filled with gratuitous sex scenes, there is much invention here: an Android winning a drinking game and then how she deals with the excess alcohol was great, as was a car chase and its gory conclusion.

  • Treasure of the Amazon

    Treasure of the Amazon

    ★★★★

    I don’t have much frame of reference for how this compares to other Jungle Adventure exploitation movies, but this was ace. Think the opening of Raiders after the boulder chase but stretched out for 104 minutes. Lots of great location work, Donald Pleasance as a Nazi, beheadings - it does start to sag a little only to then pickup with a brilliant crab-based death scene.

  • Fela Kuti: Live at Glastonbury 1984

    Fela Kuti: Live at Glastonbury 1984

    ★★★★★

    I sit at home in the dark watching this and it feels transcendental; I play some at work when my colleagues are around and they tell me it’s shite. They can go fuck themselves.

  • Super Mario Bros.

    Super Mario Bros.

    ★★★

    Koopa is King but there are posters up urging people to elect him.


    This is all over the place. It’s sexy and repulsive and dark but it’s slapstick and immature. Like Charles Band doing Blade Runner for kids (only not as good as that sounds - but still also weirdly good??). 


    The making of it sounds like a total clusterfuck too. No wonder Bob Hoskins (cockney rhyming slang for potato skins) and Dennis Hopper veer wildly in quality in their performances throughout.

  • Devil's Revenge

    Devil's Revenge

    ½

    Shatner says fuck a load of times and there’s some mummies that look like Mortal Kombat Annihilation cosplay and they have little cgi stink lines coming out of them because they probably fucking stink.