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  • Kingsman: The Golden Circle

    Kingsman: The Golden Circle

    Politically confused, aesthetically repugnant, and excruciatingly bloated, Kingsman: The Golden Circle is a sequel that takes everything good about its predecessor and throws it in the trash, while exacerbating everything that was questionable.

    It's overlong, everyone looks like they'd rather be literally anywhere else, it's borderline fascist, and worst of all it's just fucking boring.

  • The Ritual

    The Ritual

    ★★★★

    what would happen if The Witch starred LADS LADS LADS

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  • Under the Skin

    Under the Skin

    What.

    What?

    I don't get it.

    So?

    I don't get it.

    At least give it a rating.

    But I don't get it.

    Was it good?

    Yes.

    Would you recommend it?

    I don't know.

    How does that work?

    I don't know.

    What?

    What?

    Just give it 2 1/2 or something.

    I can't.

    Why?

    Because it's good.

    Then what's the issue?

    I don't know.

    For fuck's sake.

    I don't understand it. It confused me.

    Just your plebian mind.

    Fuck you.

    Fuck you.…

  • In Bruges

    In Bruges

    ★★★★★

    The only film where you will witness Madeye Moody and Voldemort sit in a bar and call each other cunts.