• Interview with the Vampire

    Interview with the Vampire


    Any movie that has Kirsten Dunst slitting Tom Cruise’s throat automatically gets four stars.


  • Big Fish

    Big Fish


    I wish I had the words to describe how this movie made me feel when I first saw it and how it still makes me feel 18 years on, but I can’t find them.
    Maybe some day I will.


  • The Royal Tenenbaums

    The Royal Tenenbaums


    Margo Tenenbaum needs her own spin-off. 


  • Underwater



    Fairly decent action-thriller with some good jump scares. I could’ve done without T.J. Miller showing up to be the comic relief (term used lightly) in a movie that didn’t need one.


  • I Love You Phillip Morris

    I Love You Phillip Morris


    I love you Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor.


  • Catwoman



    “Game over.”
               -Sharon Stone

    “Guess What?
          It’s overtime!”
               -Halle Berry

    Oh boy. Almost everything here is a mess, from the editing to the action sequences to the music to the, as you can see above, dialogue.

    And apparently Halle Berry’s Catwoman can walk through solid walls? Okay!


  • Shiva Baby

    Shiva Baby


    I didn’t realize how much I missed Dianna Agron. 


  • Batman & Robin

    Batman & Robin


    My god this is so terrible and wonderful and insane and dumb.

    • I have now grown accustomed to the suit-butt close-up. Props to George, Chris, and Alicia for getting me on board.

    • I’m not sure what to make of the fact that this Bane was easier to understand than Tom Hardy’s was in The Dark Knight Rises. 

    • I’m here for whatever that accent was Uma decided to use. 

    • I think my favorite scene was Alicia trying to figure out the password to Alfred’s CD-ROM with all of Batman’s secrets on it, and said password ending up being just “Pat”.


  • Batman Forever

    Batman Forever


    A case of too much and somehow not enough. 

    Whhyyyyy was there a closeup of the bat suit butt?!?

    Hearing Alfred say “Master Dick” was fun though. 


  • Batman Returns

    Batman Returns


    Michelle ≈ Legend 

    I feel like Tim Burton is much more in his element on this one.


  • Batman



    My oh my action movies have come a long way. 

    Kinda fun kinda underdeveloped. I love that they called Michael Keaton Birdman. 


  • Eternals



    Not sure why this is the lowest rated of all Marvel movies? Sure it has some issues, but it’s certainly better than some of the films they’ve put out. Seems like there might be a whiff of sexism/racism involved there. 

    Anyway, pretty cool that Gemma Chan gets to get it on with both Jon Snow and Robb Stark and her character’s name is Sersi. 

    And the score was by Ramin Djawadi! I thought I heard some hints of “Light of…