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Darkest Hour 2017
This is just two hours of Gary Oldman in heavy makeup and a fat suit shouting and bloviating in order to win his Oscar, but with the added bonus of having one of the worst scenes I have ever witnessed in a film of this type.
In a key moment, Churchill darts out of a cab to take the tube for the very first time, wherein he introduces himself to the passengers on the train and asks them if they…
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Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri 2017
Y i k e s. Gonna go watch In Bruges for the 50th time instead and never think about this bad movie again.
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Annabelle: Creation 2017
The witch in The Conjuring and the nun in The Conjuring 2 were legit scary. The doll in these Annabelle movies is...not.
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The Fate of the Furious 2017
JFC, this felt longer than Charlize Theron's fake white-lady dreads. The enduring appeal of this franchise escapes me.
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The Boss Baby 2017
I could not explain the plot of this if my life depended on it. And tbh all the jokes about HR, getting fired and severance packages were just too real.
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Battle of the Sexes 2017
One of those well-intentioned movies that is (sadly) actually kinda bad. Emma Stone in a wig and glasses and Steve Carell with bad fake teeth and sideburns aren't enough to convince they're playing these real life people, living out this pivotal real life moment. And as a tennis fan can I just say the matches in this movie are HORRIFICALLY shot? Choppy editing, copious reaction shots, zero tension. A disappointment.
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The Little Hours 2017
Gentle reminder that even the most talented actors/comedians generally need a functional screenplay to make a good movie.
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