Jack has written 29 reviews for films rated ★★★ during 2016.

  • Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

    Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

    ★★★

    Revenge Of The Sith:
    Score: 3 out of 5
    Grade: C+

    "Unlimited Power"

    Thoughts: The scripts to each prequel film are just awful written pieces of shit. Each line is pain to the ear and brain. This film just should've only been the stunning battle scenes cause that's the only reason it has a 3.

  • A Christmas Carol

    A Christmas Carol

    ★★★

    A Christmas Carol:
    Score: 3.5 out of 5
    Grade: B

    "These spirits tried to interfere for good in human affairs, but they lost the power forever. That is the curse we bear."

    Thoughts: Tiny Tim. Tiny Fucking Tim. With all my heart I loathe that little bitch.

  • A Muppet Family Christmas

    A Muppet Family Christmas

    ★★★

    Muppet Family Christmas:
    Score: 3 out of 5
    Grade: C+

    “Holy Smokes”

    Thoughts: Hence the title Muppet Family Christmas is a good family film. Of course being a muppet movie it isn’t going to be 5 stars. The one issue I have with this film is Fraggle rock. That is a stretch for this film.

  • Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

    Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

    ★★★

    Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them:
    Score: 3.5 out of 5
    Grade: B

    "Will we die, just a little?"

    Thoughts: Sequel? Spinoff? Prequel? All 3? Whichever you see fit to label it is up to you, all I know is that it's a Harry Potter film. Has the Harry Potter franchise ever made a 5 star film? No. Will they ever? No. Yet the one reason i'm forever attached to these films and books is because of childhood. I…

  • A Christmas Carol

    A Christmas Carol

    ★★★

    A Christmas Carol:
    Score: 3 out of 5
    Grade: B-

    "An ass?"

    Thoughts:Disturbing. An okay movie with the most disturbing scene in a disney movie i've ever seen. This is a kids movie right? His skin literally peels away to his laughing skeleton. And people think Cars 3 is dark.

    Cars 3:181 Days

  • The Year Without a Santa Claus

    The Year Without a Santa Claus

    ★★★

    The Year Without a Santa Claus:
    Score: 3 out of 5
    Grade: C

    "A little chilly humor"

    Thoughts: Rankin and Bass knows how to make a holiday horror film. Creepy animation on top of Santa looking over a sleeping boy in the middle of the night.

  • Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

    Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

    ★★★

    Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer:
    Score: 3 out of 5
    Grade: B-

    "This fog's as thick as peanut butter"

    Thoughts: Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer starring The KFC colonel as The Snowman and A discriminating KKK member as Santa.

  • Mickey's Twice Upon a Christmas

    Mickey's Twice Upon a Christmas

    ★★★

    Mickey’s Twice Upon a Christmas:
    Score: 3 out of 5
    Grade: C+

    "Aren't we innocent into proven guilty"

    Thoughts: Just like it's predecessor this film is 3 out of 5 and C+. Donald Duck also slaughtered hundreds of elves and killed Mrs. Clause while Santa watched.

    Cars 3: 197 Days

  • Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town

    Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town

    ★★★

    Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town:
    Score: 3 out of 5
    Grade: B-

    "You mustn't mind the tree monsters. Their bark is worse than their bite"......Hey it's the seventies this joke wouldn't have been too bad back then.

    Thoughts: Where as in Evil Dead trees are rapists these trees at the most groped that poor Penguin. But Santa is one huge creeping pedophile. He also the one ginger who might actually have a soul. And on that note why the…

  • Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas

    Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas

    ★★★

    Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas:
    Score: 3 out of 5
    Grade: C+

    "You're right. Yesterday's today, and today is tomorrow, and it's gonna be the same thing, day in and day out, and day in and day out"

    Thoughts: A good ole Disney Christmas movie. The Mickey One sucked and the Donal Duck 3rd was okay. The Goofy third though was the best part of the film and made this film a 3 over 2.5.

    Afterthought: For every Disney movie I watch from now on this countdown clock will begin.

    Cars 3: 198 Days

  • A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving

    A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving

    ★★★

    Charlie Brown Thanksgiving:
    Score: 3 out of 5
    Grade: B-

    "Holidays always depress me"

    Thoughts: Peppermint Patty Is A Bitch and Just Because It's A Classic Doesn't Mean It's Great.

  • Friday the 13th

    Friday the 13th

    ★★★

    Friday the 13th:
    Score: 3 out of 5
    Grade: C+

    "I don't love Ned."

    Thoughts: This movie could've easily ended the minute Ned died. Mostly because that and maybe the ending were the only good parts of the film. Even though Ned was alive for like 25 minutes it was still a long 25 minutes. My only wish is that we could have only seen Ned die. Did I mention I hate Ned.