Pitbull: New Orders

Pitbull: New Orders ★½

My continuing education in the less-"worthy" Polish film canon continues with this, a sub-Love/Hate gangster film set in Warsaw. The writer-director, Patryk Vega, is described as the Polish Guy Ritchie. And from what I've seen of his films so far, maybe people mean Revolver-era Guy Ritchie? I dunno.

The film itself is a regressive, homophobic and insecure piece of filmmaking. The main character, "Miami", is a quote-unquote "tough" quote-unquote "sexy" quote-unquote "cop". No woman can look at him without wanting to fuck him. No man can look at him without wanting to fuck him. "That was the best sex I've ever had" says one of his lays. "Coffee?" a detective offers him. "I bet you take it black." Yes, he's a hard-fuckin, hard-drinkin cop. Oh, and when the suits in internal affairs take away his badge, he tells them to give it back or he'll kick the shit out of them. And they do.

It's that kind of film. The kind we haven't really seen since Joel Silver cut down on his cocaine intake.

I've read a lot of reviews saying that based on this film, it won't be long before Hollywood comes knocking at Patryk Vega's door. And I don't doubt that's true, but only because they just need any new blood. But the real person who should be tapped for better things is the cinematographer. This film is total garbage, but at least it's handsome garbage.