I refuse to join any cult that would have me as their president, let alone as a member.
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Funland 1987
R.I.P. David Leonard Landau, aka David L. Lander (June 22, 1947 – December 4, 2020)
Leonard Maltin may consider FUNLAND a bomb, but having endured Mad Foxes, Sorority House Massacre and Where the Boys Are '84 in quick succession and also by descending order of quality, I was in need of some unlikely relief. So Georgia-based director Michael A. Simpson, the man who helped turned transgender slasher touchstone Sleepaway Camp into a franchise, you caught me smiling. Even more unexpectedly,…
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Hobgoblins 1988
"People and Robots Who've Had to Watch the Movie Hobgoblins Crisis Hotline. Hell-lo!"
"Good day, Cameron Crow, My name is Johnny Bishop, 36, and I watched the movie Hobgoblins very recently. I think I'm experiencing some post-traumatic side effects."
"Do tell, Johnny. Have you feeling to urge to pick fish or wear red shorts in public?"
"I wish. Actually, I spend the last two nights in a grueling state of insomnia, am worried that I am coming down with Coronavirus…
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Alphabet City 1984
Johnny (Vincent Spano), at just 19, is the mafia's "golden boy," his turf the Lower East Side and the Avenues A-B-C. He's been tasked with organizing the heroin trade and running collections, though his boss Gino (Raymond Serra) has just assigned him a job that he can't refuse. That would be torching the tenement building where his stubborn mother (Zohra Lampert) and kid sister Sophia (Jami Gertz) live, and he's desperate to get them out because even if Johnny disobeys…
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A Rage in Harlem 1991
"If anybody can raise the dead and make 'em pay their rent, it's you."
It's a shame Bill Duke was trying to fight the comedic potential of his big screen directorial debut (1984's The Killing Floor was made for PBS), which takes off on the novel by Chester Himes, but thankfully the humor wins out. Something about the way Forest Whitaker, as straitlaced morgue attendant Jackson, cries "Philistines!" to his decadent co-workers makes me chuckle every time, and Robin Givens…
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St. Elmo's Fire 1985
There were three instances in 1985 where Gene Siskel & Roger Ebert thrashed St. Elmo's Fire: first in their initial review, secondly as part of the "worst of the summer of 1985" roundup and finally during their proper year-end worst special. There have been scathing putdowns from David Denby, Walter Chaw and the Slant Magazine stable. You don't need Todd in the Shadows to tell you it works much better as a theme song than a movie, but he made a…
