Up Close & Personal ½

A true bad movie classic. Overwrought, empty, hysterically poorly plotted and consisting entirely of exposition, it's almost too funny. To stop yourself from laughing yourself into hernia hospital, read John Gregory Dunne's superb Monster: Living Off The Big Screen in which he describes how he and his wife Joan Didion attempted to make something worthwhile then watched as it slowly morphed into a Lifetime movie that should have starred Tom Selleck and Meredith Salinger. The book's a nice sour counterpoint to the diabetes-inducing syrup of this terrible, terrible crime against cinema; one of Jon Avnet's Trilogy of Turgidity along with Righteous Kill and 88 Minutes.