(DNF)

3 minutes in: that sinking feeling starts.

15 minutes in: start playing on phone because my GOD, is this terrible.

30 minutes in: turn it off, because #FuckThisFuckingShit

So some dude fancies himself a satirical genius, but is really just filling his jailbait characters' mouths with shock-value sex stuff because it's the most fappable (and laziest) way to write Sassy Female Characters. Every stylistic gesture is overt, excessive, and meaningless. Painfully un-clever in every single attempt to be super-duper Clever. When a movie is made by idiots who fancy themselves geniuses, the viewer becomes the fool.

Suki Waterhouse really needs to fire her agent.

Take some stylistic wankery (gotta love the De Palma split-screen!), a healthy dose of misogyny (women are most useful in a sexually subservient capacity, and better off dead when they disobey!), and a metric ton of exposition (why let the stunning images speak for themselves when you can *constantly* have the characters explain their motives?) to create a joyless, life-draining genre exercise. That this is the brainchild of one of the writers of "Snakes on a Plane" tells you all you really need to know.

Still underrated. Still chilling as hell. And still better than HALLOWEEN by leaps and bounds. And Margot Kidder gives possibly her best performance ever.

Retire already, Wes.