T H E
M O N O L O G U E S
Excuse me, which one of you hoes out here was saying this movie's
mediocre? Shut up, because Onward is actually terrific.
I was surprised to see Onward drop on google play yesterday, (thanks coronavirus) and instantly bought it, because I am contractually obligated to watch every Pixar movie from now until the end of time, because they are the most excellent movie studio in operation. And it was a perfect Saturday afternoon watch!
The film had a wonderful sense of…
Remember a while back when it was announced that in this movie we would find out how Han Solo got his name? And everyone was like, "Oh no, that sounds so cringy. Please don't do that." Well......they did it anyway. And it's just as bad of a moment as we all knew it would be.
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Is this the best movie of all time? Probably not. Could you nitpick little moments? Probably. Will I? Naw. Because this movie was from top to bottom what I wanted to see. Thanos was ruthless and scary. The character interactions were so hilarious and satisfying. Every combination was incredible. Whenever two characters met up, little fireworks went off inside of my nerdy heart. The jokes landed hard. The fan experience was electrifying. The story felt weighty and important. Every character…