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  • Rolling Thunder Revue: A Bob Dylan Story by Martin Scorsese

    Rolling Thunder Revue: A Bob Dylan Story by Martin Scorsese

    ★★★★½

    Allen Ginsberg reading Kaddish to a half interested room of elderly mahjong players is peak cinema.

  • The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

    The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

    [extended edition]

    *Goldmember voice*: Thorin loves gooooooooollllddd

    Anyways, what’s with Jackson’s obsession with making all evil things look like they’re evil? Dude never heard of complex emotions that go beyond surface level? Did he miss when subtlety called? Also, all evil things make tiger sounds...how? Do orcs have a special organ that allows them to speak like an advanced primate but also roar and shit?

    What’s that? You actually wanted my review of the film? Oh, well, it sucks of course!

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  • Doctor Sleep

    Doctor Sleep

    ★★★

    Ewan McGregor makes looking like a homeless alcoholic traumatized by your past just so sexy.

  • Suspiria

    Suspiria

    ★★★½

    That one guy’s eyebrows were just absolutely off the charts crazy