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  • The Matrix

    The Matrix

    One of those movies that'll get me a-blubberin' whenever I reminisce. I first saw this when I was 7 at my Uncle Wesley's in Georgia around the time it hit DVD and it's beyond reproach or objectivity for me. I used to misguidedly ditto the fight moves around hapless neighborhood children in attempt to seem cool. I was even the envy of my fellow third-graders when I obtained the DVD for my birthday. But it's rated R! Lately I've been…

  • Transformers: The Last Knight

    Transformers: The Last Knight

    Although Michael Bay has been somewhat reclaimed by those who thrill to his particular brand of cacophony, he still draws the ire of many a movie fan. I call it the Spider-Man 3 Effect: you hear it's really stupid, so you say it's really stupid. In reality, I can't imagine how anyone could write off what they see in a Bay film. No, he can't keep a movie under 140 minutes. Yes, he has a debilitating habit of chasing something…

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  • Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

    Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

    I'm not gonna pretend like I watched the movie, so this will not be a review proper. I had a free pass and was down to go, but succumbed to the rumbly in my tumbly something fierce about 45 minutes in and life's too short to watch the fifth Pirates of the Caribbean movie while famished. So, I promptly ducked out to McDonald's and randomly decided on a Big Mac — an iconic fast food staple that has somehow eluded…

  • Still Walking

    Still Walking

    ★★★★½

    My family is intolerant. They would never see it this way but they are. Without getting too explicit, every last member of my family is in agreement that gays and transgender people are "sinful heathens in the lord's eyes". This is a result of being brought up in a Baptist home. Apparently, somewhere in the Bible it says to stop other people from being in love even if it doesn't interfere with your day-to-day life. Funny, I never knew that.…