Trying to resist hyperbole but this feels like a line in the sand, an event of terrible cultural consequence. Not just the worst film I’ve seen in several years but quite possibly the end of Something. Can’t recall another blockbuster as embarrassingly conceived, as absent of any governing logic, or as devoid of any sense of poetry or narrative rhythm as this demoralizing affair. My buddy leaned over about 20 minutes in and remarked that it felt like it was playing on 1.5x and I can’t top his description. I don’t recall anyone reacting to anything outside of Babu Frik’s sorely needed appearance or anybody saying a word as we stumbled out of the screening. I’ve seen more smiling at funerals! 2.5 soul-destroying hours of reclining in a half-empty auditorium that reeked of everyone’s big stinky dinners and seats with headrests that predict your boredom. A billion-dollar failure. Must be nice.