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Jordashe 🌚 has written 11 reviews for films rated β˜…β˜… .

  • Always Be My Maybe

    Always Be My Maybe


    Fast forward to see Keanu acting like a douchebag, and try to avoid the rest. Rolled my eyes at a lot of dialogue and plot happenings.

  • Repulsion




  • Ma



    Wonder what they paid Spencer to be in this - fairly dumb overall

  • Amateur



    Boy, from all the love on LB, Sam Van Hallgren's inclusion of this on his most overlooked movies of the 90's, and my love of Trust, I was expecting to really like this. However, this is a mess all around. Poorly written at times, bad editing, lackluster score, questionable casting, lack of chemistry, etc. The plot synopsis gives you hope, but this really needed a more sure handed director to make it competent and entertaining. Hartley's stilted, deadpan dialogue really works in Trust, but not for this genre movie that boarded on parody.

  • Madeline's Madeline

    Madeline's Madeline


    You know those sketches from SNL, where it's a group of performance artists humorously performing hot button topics? Imagine that, but not funny at all, and way more cringe-inducing & eye rolling. Good cinematography couldn't save this from being a less than pleasurable watch.

  • Sausage Party

    Sausage Party


    For a movie that is so anti-religion, it's awfully preachy. I also thought the logic was definitely lacking, but it's also a movie about a mΓ©lange foods fucking each other.

    The addition of Meat Loaf was pretty genius, tho.

  • Circle



    This movie, is dumb

  • Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones

    Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones


    I dunno bro, this shit's pretty corny

  • Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace

    Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace


    Haven't seen this since I waited in line for a midnight showing back in 1999. Few notes:

    1) It's true: Jar Jar Binks is one of the most obnoxious, annoying characters of all time. He has no redeeming qualities, and he thinks he's Buster Keaton.

    2) The direction of making Princess Amidala talk like a soulless robot is an unfathomable choice. While Natalie Portman is not the greatest actress at this point in time, it's not all her fault. They…

  • Contempt



    These two stars go mainly to the villa in Capri. I found this film to be boring, inconsequential, tedious, and lacking stakes. After seeing this, Breathless, and Pierrot le Fou, Godard is not a director that appeals to my tastes.

  • Machete Kills

    Machete Kills


    I'm still excited for Machete Kills Again....In Space