• The Exorcist

    The Exorcist

    The Exorcist is the only movie that makes me wish I was Catholic so it would scare me.

  • Obi-Wan Kenobi

    Obi-Wan Kenobi

    The only rational explanation for how I managed to finish this likely stems from my mother neglecting to hold me enough as an infant which somehow manifested itself into a constant need to be emotionally dominated by awful tv shows.

  • In the Soup

    In the Soup

    A proper prequel to Living in Oblivion. Buscemi saying he wants to make something like Jean Renoir or Andrei Tarkovsky and Cassel immediately cutting him off with “no no, don’t pull that shit” is a god tier movie producer move.

  • Con Air

    Con Air

    The Con-Air to Written by Charlie Kaufman/Directed by Spike Jonze pipeline.

  • Mission: Impossible II

    Mission: Impossible II

    this messy shit fucking rules

  • Mission: Impossible

    Mission: Impossible

    The whole movie could be total dogshit and we’d still have the amazing Prague scene, the amazing scene where Ethan screams “my team is DEAD!” into a pay phone, the amazing scene where Ethan sits at the computer for six minutes and it keeps cross dissolving to more shots of him sitting at the computer, the amazing scene with the diner and the gum and the aquarium, the amazing scene where Ethan meets Max and they verbally fuck for five minutes,…

  • Crimes of the Future

    Crimes of the Future

    You’d have to be softer than owl pellets to have a panic attack and walk out of this one. Obvious horror hype tactic is obvious. Maybe Cronenberg is mellowing out in his old age; maybe he’s honing in on the things that matter. Crimes of the Future has excellent world building and rich themes; the score, photography, and craft elements are top notch; and a handful of scenes bump against the ceiling of transcendent. And yet and yet and yet……

  • Top Gun: Maverick

    Top Gun: Maverick

    “It’s not the plane, it’s the pilot.” Most big budget movies could learn a thing or two about that. Not Top Gun: Maverick though, cause Top Gun: Maverick rules. No asterisk, no addendum, no apologies.

  • Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers

    Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers

    fairly enjoyable, which makes it feel way more evil

  • Top Gun

    Top Gun

    Was this a recruitment tactic for the Air Force or for being gay? Either way is tight.

  • Amistad

    Amistad

    an orgy of self-congratulation and bullshit

  • Titanic

    Titanic

    Kate Winslet’s( • ) ( • )were the 1st( • ) ( • )I ever saw