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  • Prometheus

    Prometheus

    ★★★★

    First rewatch since it debuted. Less horror-y than I even remembered. Still deeply flawed, but still looks amazing and moves at a fast clip. Probably too fast, honestly. Trying to cram too much in too quickly. Fassbender is still aces though.

    Numbers don't really matter, but I'd lean more towards 3.75.

  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens

    Star Wars: The Force Awakens

    ★★★★

    Between this and Blade Runner 2049, you truly understand how much of a freaking star Harrison Ford is.

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  • Xanadu

    Xanadu

    To rate Xanadu is to not "get" Xanadu. It is 5 stars, it is 0 stars. It is the stars and everything in between the stars. Xanadu is not of this world and thus has little time for your Earthly star ratings or your critical analysis or your good taste. Xanadu is nothing and Xanadu is all.

    I mean, how many movies have as many WTF moments as this? Should be cherished as the ridiculous cultural artifact it is. How…

  • Identity Thief

    Identity Thief

    ½

    I cannot fully express how much I hated this movie and how painful it was to sit through. It's supposedly a comedy, but none of the jokes are funny. I chuckled once at the very beginning for an Ayn Rand/Fountainhead joke from Jon Favreau and at the very end when Melissa McCarthy is talking to the kids. That's it.

    It's so incompetent, so boring and sooooo looonnnnngggggg, that I considered walking out about three different times. It takes a lot…