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  • Independence Day: Resurgence

    Independence Day: Resurgence

    ½

    Unbelievable in its terrible-ness. Hated pretty much from start to finish.

    The thing I'll take primarily from this thing is that it is one of the worst edited movies I've seen in quite a long while; like hitting the fast-forward button and watching two (terrible) hours of a movie 1.5x faster than it should be seen. There is a giant list of other problems, but the editing stands apart.

    Where the first ID4 was funny, charming and rousing, this is…

  • Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

    Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

    ★★★½

    CG Wars: The Uncanny Valley Strikes Back.

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  • Xanadu

    Xanadu

    To rate Xanadu is to not "get" Xanadu. It is 5 stars, it is 0 stars. It is the stars and everything in between the stars. Xanadu is not of this world and thus has little time for your Earthly star ratings or your critical analysis or your good taste. Xanadu is nothing and Xanadu is all.

    I mean, how many movies have as many WTF moments as this? Should be cherished as the ridiculous cultural artifact it is. How…

  • Identity Thief

    Identity Thief

    ½

    I cannot fully express how much I hated this movie and how painful it was to sit through. It's supposedly a comedy, but none of the jokes are funny. I chuckled once at the very beginning for an Ayn Rand/Fountainhead joke from Jon Favreau and at the very end when Melissa McCarthy is talking to the kids. That's it.

    It's so incompetent, so boring and sooooo looonnnnngggggg, that I considered walking out about three different times. It takes a lot…