Never Been Kissed

Never Been Kissed ★★

"Man, I don't love her" -Weed Cake Guy,

What a bizarre film.

I don't remember this much hebephilia in the 90s but apparently I wasn't paying enough attention. The central premise to this romance is so unusual and wrong it's offputting. I can't get myself to a point where I rate this a 1 or less because of it but certainly it's weird and wrong. It's a shame they couldn't fix that by having her fall for her handler or someone at work instead, or having the teacher know from the beginning, or making the teacher the villain, because it distracts from the truly quirky and weird quality to everything else about this movie, which is often so dumb that it becomes funny and entertaining. The movie has a stacked cast that is pretty much wasted on a film that has no chance to stand the test of time.

It's value, to the extent that it has value, is that it is strangely well executed crap that serves as a 90s time capsule.

P.S. There is a part where a couple dressed as Joseph and Mary are told "sorry there's no room at this table" and it is funny to me that some writer probably fought to keep that joke in this dopey movie. I don't know if that joke even makes sense to godless Gen Z.

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