Road House ★★★★

"Nobody Ever Wins a Fight." - Dalton, he's tough and smart.

I feel hurt and alone after reading so many negative reviews of this film recently. Who knew that a clue on the monthly scavenger hunt (Watch a Sam Elliot film) would bring me so much pain and sorrow but here I am. So I rewatched it and I still like it a lot and I can die knowing that haters are wrong, wrong....wrong!

A bar owner in small town outside of Kansas City hires the best "cooler" in the business to clean up his rowdy establishment. The super-bouncer finds more than he expected in a love interest and a nemesis in the form of an evil businessman who runs the town. Main characters include:

- Sam Dalton- Everyone thinks he'd be bigger but he's a little ball of fury and sex appeal. Dalton is the best, or second best, "cooler" in the country. He's got a Ph.D. in Philosophy and sews up his own wounds. He is basically the wish fulfillment icon of every smart guy that wants to kick some ass. Strengths include tai chi, throat rips, drinking coffee, and staring at people like he wants to fuck them.

- Dr. Elizabeth Clay- A medical doctor who can't handle how awesome Sam Dalton is.

- Wade Garrett- Arguably the best cooler in the country. This is played by Sam Elliot and he is an awesome fighter and a bit of a sexual harasser.

- Brad Wesley- THE BIGGEST ASSHOLE IN THE WORLD but JC Penny is coming to the small town because of him. He is basically a businessman/mob boss and is one of my favorite villains in film because of how over the top he is and the power he is portrayed to have. He can basically just destroy things in front of the cops and get away with it.

I like that bouncers got their own movie and that pretty boy dancer Patrick Swayze was the pick. I really enjoy that this movie places so much intensity and importance on a job that only kind of exists and definitely doesn't exist in this way. The gay subtext smacks you like a bottle to the head and the romantic subplot is over the top dumb subtext. I also really like films that can be described as sultry and this can be. I don't know it's stupid but I like it, if you don't that's cool too. Patrick Swayze is iconic in the role.

I think Road House is best viewed by people 30 or above (in spirit or chronological age) that like cheese, gay subtext, bar fights, making fun of hillbillies, and bad movies in general.

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