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  • Ganja & Hess

    Ganja & Hess

    ★★

    "What is there to know about Ganja" -Ganja,

    - Complex Top 50 Blaxploitation: boxd.it/1w5pa
    - Daily Horror Hunt 15: boxd.it/3JrCO
    Clue 20: Watch a blaxploitation horror film.

    Any servant that doesn't know what grits are needs to get the fuck out of my mansion I'll tell you that.

    I wanted to like this but I don't understand it and I don't understand why people like it. I'm dumb. This movie makes me feel dumb. I don't think people are faking…

  • Ready or Not

    Ready or Not

    ★★★★

    I don't know, sometimes I wish I could just write one silly sentence and have tons of people like the review even though I didn't do anything.

  • To Hell and Back: The Kane Hodder Story

    To Hell and Back: The Kane Hodder Story

    ★★★½

    "The thing you don't understand if you've never been on fire is ..." - Kane,

    - Daily Horror Hunt #15 (Sept. '19): boxd.it/3JrCO
    Day 19Watch any horror documentary OR movie about horror icons

    Director Renny Harlin discovered Kane Hodder on the set of the movie Prison proving Renny Harlin is the key to all of Hollywood.

    Kane Hodder is a really excellent storyteller and this is a surprisingly good documentary. This documentary is:

    - 5% stories about him being bullied…

  • Ne Zha

    Ne Zha

    ★★★★

    "It's actually pronounced 'nah ja'" - Condescending food clerk at AMC,

    - 2019 Ranked: boxd.it/2lsbC

    That drool looks like real drool! Damn this animation is so lit and dope I gotta call it dope-lit.

    In Ne Zha a superior being splits an orb of sorts into a demon pill and a spirit seed. The spirit seed is supposed to go to a royal family in a small village but it is stolen by a dragon and the royal family gets…

  • Home Sweet Hell

    Home Sweet Hell

    ★½

    "Paranoia is just total awareness" - Mona Champagne,

    This movie wants to be Serial Mom but it's more like a Serial Bomb... that's a great fucking joke I hope you're laughing.

    A horrible woman gets cheated on by a horrible man and then she does horrible things to "protect" her family. ... it's a comedy I think. This movie fails for me because of editing, and score, and production, and script, and direction, and casting (just wrong, the actors are…

  • The Dead Zone

    The Dead Zone

    ★★★½

    "When it happens, I don't know, it feels like I'm dying inside"
    -Christopher Walken, duh...it's the dead zone.
    AND
    "I've got a vision of being President some day" -Martin Sheen, being psychic.

    - David Cronenberg Ranked: boxd.it/2gzqO
    - Daily Horror Hunt #15 (Sept. '19): boxd.it/3JrCO
    Day 17: Watch a movie by Craven, Cronenberg or Carpenter

    I don't shake hands with people because ain't no dead zone psychic going to see my plans for the future.

    In the Dead Zone, a…

  • Unforgettable

    Unforgettable

    ★★★½

    "Just keep being you and it'll all work out." -David,
    AND
    "I don't want to spend the rest of life playing 'she said, she said.'" -Asshole Husband

    Fuck YES to this film and fuck no to the haters. You be you Unforgettable, you be you you beautiful piece of shit!

    Things escalate quickly when Rosario Dawson gets married to a man with a daughter and a crazy ex-wife. Katherine Heigl is fierce as fuck as the hot divorcee who can't…

  • Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon

    Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon

    ★★★½

    "Look at me man! It's Todd! It's Todd man!" - Todd the camera guy,

    - Daily Horror Hunt 15 (Sept. 19): boxd.it/3JrCO
    Clue 18: Watch any movie tagged horror and comedy

    If I was a movie serial killer my Captain Ahabs would be Millennials and Heart Disease.

    Well done behind the scenes mockumentary on how epic killers do what they want to do. Topics considered:
    - How do movie killers walk but manage to catch people that are running?
    -…

  • Logan

    Logan

    ★★★★½

    "Listen, you don't have to fight anymore" -Logan.

    - X-Men Ranked: boxd.it/1PZwO

    Including a Taco Bell commercial in the middle of a deranged man's monologue is some gangster ass product placement.

    Logan's ready to say goodbye but first he's going to go on a weird neo-western Mad Max like adventure. In Logan, Weapon X goes on a mission to help a little girl and a declining Professor X make it to a safe haven for mutants. This takes place in…

  • Brittany Runs a Marathon

    Brittany Runs a Marathon

    ★★

    "I'm sorry but I'll have to report you for this." - Brittany,

    -2019 Ranked: boxd.it/2lsbC

    I've discovered it's hard to lose weight when you don't really like doing anything and you also don't really like abstaining from anything.

    Brittany is a late 20s fuckup who is overweight so she starts training for a marathon to help with her weight and confidence. Along the way she interacts with a ragtag group of people, none of whom are very funny at all.…

  • The Body Snatcher

    The Body Snatcher

    ★★

    "Don't worry, it'll do the boy no harm" - Toddy,

    - Daily Horror Hunt #15 (September 2019): boxd.it/3JrCO
    Clue 16: "What decade of life are you in? Add a 19 to the front and watch a horror film from that decade."

    Robert Louis Stevenson can't even carry H.P. Lovecraft's bags.

    In the Body Snatcher, Karloff is a body snatcher who gets stuff for people doing medical research. When suspicions about just how fresh the bodies are come to light, some minor dramatic stuff happens and then the film ends. I found this tedious and boring. Not a recommend.

  • The Stendhal Syndrome

    The Stendhal Syndrome

    ★★★

    "But I crawled into the painting" - WHAT?

    - Dario Argento Rankings: boxd.it/30KqM
    - Daily Horror Hunt 15 (Sept. '19): boxd.it/3JrCO
    Clue 15: Watch a film by Dario Argento

    This is why I never go to art museums.

    Detective Anna Manni is looking for a rapist serial killer but she's got some problems of her own. She was a victim of the rapist herself and saw one of his muders first hand. What ensues is the best episode of Law…