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<Todd> has written 101 reviews for films rated .

  • Shutter

    Shutter

    "The Japanese love paranormal phenomena" -Megumi,

    They call this a "reimagining" of the Thai film Shutter... apparently Americans "imagine" adding shit to good films.

  • Big Ass Spider!

    Big Ass Spider!

    "Raid?.... Raid is for housewives" -Basic ass dude from heroes
    and
    "How come women never listen to me" - Regular dude
    AND
    "Jose, your spanglish is kidding me" - Basic white ass
    AND

    - Daily Horror Hunt 15 (Sept '19): boxd.it/3JrCO
    Clue 14: Watch a horror film featuring a spider

    Finally, a movie willing to showcase a mediocre white guy in a lead role.

    A spider becomes bigger and bigger and an exterminator becomes an unlikely hero, even though he…

  • Zoolander 2

    Zoolander 2

    "I already told you, it's like you're not even listening to me." - Zoolander,

    - Scavenger Hunt 54 (Sept. '19): boxd.it/3QsyW
    Clue 9. Watch a movie about fashion. (8/31 completed)

    Making a comedy sequel is like telling fate to go fuck itself.

    I think the problem is that in this film you never have a sane character that is able to ground the story and assure you that "yes, these people are weird" and that just leaves crazy people saying…

  • The Predator

    The Predator

    "My dad kills people so you can be a mailman" - Kid, kind of an asshole.

    - Predator Franchise Ranked: boxd.it/23lxA
    - Linking Autism to Superpowers: boxd.it/3ORc8

    I hate this movie and it makes me annoyed. I get if you don't care but I do and who else am I going to complain to?

    These are just supposed to be monster movies with badasses getting killed. That's fucking it. They aren't supposed to make powerful statements about society, or change…

  • The Quiet Ones

    The Quiet Ones

    "You shouldn't worry about it" - boy,

    If I could fuck with a doll and it messed with someone in real life there would be some strange shit happening in Ohio and you'd never see me on Letterboxd again.

    A group of people are trying to create and conjure a poltergeist for science and pleasure. They do this by basically torturing Olivia Cooke. They kind of succeed and then boringness ensues. It feels like only the talking parts from the…

  • Possession

    Possession

    "So your husband's soul is in your brother-in-law's body?" - Me (nif), I said that to the screen.

    HAHAHAHA... this movie is horrible. Poor Lee Pace and Sarah Michelle Gellar. Did they need SAG cards or something?

    A woman (Sarah Michelle Gellar) lives with her husband and his brother (Lee Pace). When the man and his brother get into a car wreck that knocks them into comas all seems lost until the husband wakes up in the body of the…

  • Slender Man

    Slender Man

    "We can contact Slender Man." - Wren, nonsense
    "Why would we do that?" - Hallie, making some fucking sense.
    "Katie contacted Slender Man." - Wren, nonsense
    "Why would she do that?" - Chloe, making some fucking sense.

    - Original Review: boxd.it/vcHUp

    So my daughter and I watched this today without realizing that this is the one year anniversary of this film's release. I mean what are the chances? Oh, this movie sucks by the way.

  • Hydra

    Hydra

    "Well the hunters are becoming the hunted too" - Rich Ass,

    The good news is, you see the hydra. The bad new is, you see the hydra.

    On a deserted island lives a hydra and mythical items. To the deserted island comes a group of men who hunt humans for sport. During the hunting activities the hunter and the hunted meet an apex predator of lore and CGI murder occurs in a below average production.

    It sucks bad but is…

  • Return to Horror Hotel

    Return to Horror Hotel

    "Nobody messes with Stumpy Nixon" - Al Sharko,

    Anthology horror is usually my favorite but this is so bad, they leave two line flubs in the movie.

    (1) Bed bugs- Giant, stupid bed bugs are attacking people. It's gross and they are actually cockroaches. There are tons of people in it that shouldn't be acting or talking.

    (2) Guillotine- A beauty queen and her assistant get an artifact that makes women even more beautiful, but the necklace's power creates conflict...…

  • Green Lantern

    Green Lantern

    "I'm uncomfortable with the word hero" - Hal Jordan, we all are.

    Wearing jewelry is lame!

    Yep it's really bad, ya'll were right, I should have believed you. In Green Lantern, Hal Jordan is a fighter pilot who is too loose with regulations. While grounded for misconduct he unwillingly becomes chosen to be the human member of the Green Lantern Task Force or whatever because a planetary protector is stuck on earth with no other options. Nothing in this film…

  • Exorcist: The Beginning

    Exorcist: The Beginning

    "There was nothing left to bleed" - Sarah,

    - Renny Harlin Masterpieces Ranked: boxd.it/1v4qa

    Finally, the origin story that nobody wanted!

    Stellan Skarsgard plays a priest, on sabbatical, called to an archaeological dig that has discovered an unknown Catholic church in Africa. Why was the church covered up, what secrets does it hold, and how does it link to the original films? These questions are all horribly answered in Exorcist: The Beginning.

    There was a part in the middle for ten minutes where I thought it might be getting better... then it got worse.

  • The Apparition

    The Apparition

    "Your house killed my dog" -little girl

    Ashley Greene getting into tight lingerie for sleeping and keeping it on to search the house is a scream at the screen moment.

    After I watched the Covenant and Fallen, the algorithm went into "let's see if he'll watch this" mode and suggested that I watch The Apparition... I said yes. In the Apparition, Sebastian Stan and Ashley Greene get paranormal activitied and Draco Malfoy shows up to help. The movie sucks a lot.

    You don't just give a kid a dog and you don't let your friends watch this movie unless they are doing it for Sebastian Stan.