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  • The Fast and the Furious

    The Fast and the Furious

    ★★

    all the dialogue in this is so stilted it almost comes off as being from the shakespeare era 

    "they call me hector" translates to "my name is hector"

    "come and get it" translates to "hello"

    "rip apart the block” means "holla at yah boi"

    + 1 star for the shot of the NOS blowing through the fuel gauge that was pretty damn nice for 2001 era after effects 

    - 4 stars for all the gay slurs

  • Bring It On

    Bring It On

    one of the stunt guys brags about how he fingers his girlfriend that he’s tossing up in the air, and that was the part of this movie that stuck with me the most, as I spent almost 5 whole minutes trying to figure out the logistics involved in that weird "supposed" sexual flex 

    kristen dunst’s acting is questionable but 1 star for the amazing jazz dance captain and also for finger dexterity

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  • Captain Marvel

    Captain Marvel

    ★★

    how the absolute hell did Jude Law pick this as the first movie to show off his newly minted hair plugs when he would so CLEARLY have been a better fit for the favorite or something like that. looks great tho 

    i fell asleep at about the 45min mark right as the weird sexual deviant guy from dark knight rises has a crouching tiger battle with Samuel L Jackson’s favorite glory days daydream while he also yells about how red and American his blood is 

    brie larsons performance is tepid as  🤷🏻‍♂️


    skip this and go rewatch Thor Ragnarok

  • The Favourite

    The Favourite

    ★★★★

    firstly - this is nic hoult’s BEST role to date. witty and rapid with just a tastefully sprinkling of douchebag. nobility - but make it fashion and also aaron soorkin

    second, this film really is fucking fun. like really fun. the banter was fun and I enjoyed a lot about the setting, especially how lighthearted it was shown to be. 

    fun fun fun