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  • It Comes at Night

    It Comes at Night



    1. Haven't been this mystified by an acclaimed feature-film's appeal in a LONG TIME. And, no, I don't care that it's not a horror film... it's just... what is it?

    2. It isn't particularly novel; the basic scenario, and thematic set has been examined to death by other speculative fiction.

    It isn't particularly well written; the dialogue is strictly functional, and the narrative doesn't swell or develop so much as it conveniently swerves fifteen minutes before the end.


  • Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie

    Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie



    Hi im gonna review this like its a movie.

    1. Incredibly Faithful. Enough to ward off any hints of cynicism, but also enough to prevent it from being at all surprising if you're uh familiar with the source material (which I uh am). Still, this is colorful, irreverent, and cute enough for a Monday afternoon. If you're curious, see it!

    2. Shout-out to Ed Helms. I'm not even close to a fan, and this doesn't really get me any…

Popular reviews

  • The Duke of Burgundy

    The Duke of Burgundy



    Showed this to my father. He was bored by it. I explained to him that the fact that he loves me enough to watch any film I want him to is what the film is basically about. He said "No Julian, it's about lesbian lepidopterists."

    It's still a masterpiece, Dad.

  • Mustang




    Hot Take 1: The Great Escape + The Virgin Suicides = me underselling the fuck out of this movie.

    Hot Take 2: A beautiful, ten-legged monster is sliced up by the patriarchy, but bravely refuses to bleed.