The Lords of Salem

The Lords of Salem ½

I knew what I was getting into. I saw the trailer before the Evil Dead reboot earlier this year and I looked over to my friend and said, "No way will I see that." But when plans go wrong and you find yourself with some free time there's no telling what will happen. Rob Zombie hasn't made a movie I've liked yet, and this is sure to be the worst of the year for me. There's some BS about witches and devil worshiping, which is really just an excuse for Zombie to try to shock us to death with naked old ladies. The horror! We're also treated to his wife, in the lead role, taking some time for herself on the toilet. That'd be tremendously shocking if I hadn't seen at least 3 other movies do the same thing. There are a few creepy images, but the rest is horrible music and even worse yelling. I guess the old suit and tie Devil has gone out of style and now he's into people with bad teeth and dumb hair yelling at him to come and impregnate them with demon babies or whatever. Rob Zombie is trying so hard here and all I can say in response is, "Who cares?"

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