Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales ★★★½

Maybe it's because I've watched this entire franchise in a month and my brain has completely melted at this point, or maybe it's the quarantine and the constant boozing and jazz cigarettes that's gone along with it—I can't be sure. But somehow, some way, I had an above-average amount of fun with this film.

Don't get me wrong, a ton of it is ridiculous and doesn't work, and there are some lines of dialogue dumber than dolphin shit, but at least there are several competently executed and edited action scenes that I can follow. Lots of the action even takes place during the day, and the scenes at night are appropriately lit (take note, Rob Marshall & Co.) so you can follow what's happening.

And probably most importantly, every single major character in this movie has a clear motivation and justifies their existence in the film.

Obviously this will all be discussed at length in our final WHM episode on the franchise, but I will end by saying this:

Orlando Bloom looks like Kid Rock at the end of this movie.