Ready Player One

Ready Player One ★★

I'm sorry. I just couldn't.

[I realized after typing this, it'd make a very succinct suicide note. However, I just couldn't bring myself to have a good time here. The greatest thing about this film is how we'll be able to use it as an example to all those people who are stoked about Disney buying Fox. Characters who shouldn't be seen together being seen together is obnoxious and distracting and just doesn't work.]

Soundtrack was pretty rad, though.

Post Script: Why would this kid walk around referencing Citizen Kane so much? And don't tell me that it's a nod to a film that will transcend time yada yada yada. There will come a day when people don't give a shit about Citizen Kane, and that day will be right around the same time we're sitting in a post-Internet, post-Apocalyptic wasteland, stacked in trailers playing an immersive video game every single day. It makes no sense that this kid keeps saying, "Rosebud."

Post-Post Script: Why did he have to showcase the Michael Bay version of the Ninja Turtles? Everything else is from the 1980s, so why show us the 2011 Turtles?