Eternals ★½

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

Yeah… no. Action sucked, with CGI creatures and way too much going on, characters were cookie cutter, I honestly forgot theme all aside from the deaf hero who pops in at the end and start (like an actual interesting character just wasted), and Kumail who isn’t even in the climax. At one point they just started making up powers to solve the situation. The soundtrack was awful in action scenes, but there was actually a really good track in a dialogue scene. I also appreciated how music wasn’t forced into every emotional scene, that’s one of the only different feelings with this film compared to other MCU stuff. Nearly all the emotional moments are underscores by awful humor - like the jokes in this movie did not get one laugh. Key relationships are underdeveloped, like  Thena’s with Giglamesh, or the main girl who was also in Captain Marvel with Jon Snow. There’s a sex scene which isn’t anything graphic, but that’s long overdue for the MCU. Oh, and that they had the balls to have a gay character actual kiss and stuff, but that relationship felt underdeveloped to the point of feeling very disgenuine (as did the kiss?)

And my gosh, Guardians is shorter and introduces a team, this felt like it went on FOREVER. The locations didn’t feel as glob trotting or authentic as I had expected from Zhao’s insistance to shoot on location. 

I legitimately think I enjoyed Venom 2 more wtf - this is one of the worst Marvel films yet, which sucks. I like when we get a full new team.

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