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  • Kong: Skull Island

    Kong: Skull Island

    ★★★

    Is it good?
    Eh... It's alright...

    Is this a sequel to Peter Jackson's King Kong?
    No.

    How is it compared to Peter Jackson's King Kong?
    Jackson's King Kong, despite being riddled with a number of issues itself, is much more epic and memorable.

    Is this connected to Gareth Edwards' Godzilla?
    Same cinematic universe, apparently. (Everyone seems to be having their own cinematic universe nowadays. Meanwhile, I'm still here waiting for the Sense of Right Alliance.)

    Is Godzilla in this?
    No.…

  • Logan

    Logan

    ★★★★½

    Is it good?
    Heck. Yes.

    Is this the best Wolverine movie yet?
    Unquestionably.

    Better than any of the X-Men movies?
    Hmm... X2 and Days of Future Past are both excellent, but this one's up there with them.

    When does this take place?
    The year 2029.

    What's Logan up to in the year 2029?
    Logan the Wolverine is now Logan the limo driver. He's a mess. He's weary. He's jaded. He's reluctant... and he's fading. He's all Danny-Glover-I'm-too-old-for-this-shit. And after 17…

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  • Fantastic Four

    Fantastic Four

    Dear Fox,

    Now can you please return the Fantastic Four back to Marvel?

    Thank you.

    Sincerely,
    Everyone

  • Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

    Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

    ★★

    Gonzo's 2016 Movie Rankings

    Is it good?
    Mmm... Nnn... Yea... Kinda... Nnnot really...

    What? Yes or no, man? Yes or no?!
    ...

    ...
    ...

    Okay, is BvS Batman Part 1 or Man of Steel 2?
    Both. The movie begins and ends with Bruce Wayne and the main plot deals with the aftermath of the events in Man of Steel.

    How's Ben Affleck as Bruce Wayne/Batman?
    Ben Affleck as Bruce Wayne is Ben Affleck. Bale did a better job, but…