me, morbid genius: so i want Norm and Saget in the same calendar year, I want Farley in halftime til then, put another 10k on Gary Coleman, but then Chevy Chase with the active heartbeat parlay, and I want Artie Lange standing and surviving in the end with points and rebounds

lifespan gamble dealer: whaddaya know?

me, complete fuckin genius: i dunno, i just know

lifespan gamble dealer: well i'll tell you now, it's the dumbest fuckin bet i ever heard of.

me, a prophet: ...... 😁 I disagree

(idk why i'm surprised that this was so funny, but holy fuck; like if your intensely problematic uncle was actually funny.)